Lockdown Life is different to normal life for most people. We have lots to do, places to go, and then we take up even more of our time planning these things to do and go to. It’s what gives us a sense of adventure and connection. Something to look forward to. Something to build upon.

When this is taken away, its not just the event that is taken away but the planning and anticipation.

There has been many new strategies to combat this dilemma that have come to light over the recent months/years of lockdown. Different routines, more solitary hobbies, Netflix and of course we can always go for a walk...... and then we can go for a walk.

While there is a lot of things in lockdown that have have had a positive impact on relationships, same cannot be said for the stress we have put ourselves under trying to confront or avoid issues and stay in the positive.

I can be REALLY difficult. Some can reach breaking point!

Even Soulmate relationships take time and effort to maintain.

Could this be the difference between Soulmate and Cellmate?

Whether it's a partner, friend or family member, its not exactly natural to be 24/7 forever.

The definition of Soulmate is not to be able to live solely (blissfully, truly ,madly, deeply) together 24/7/365 with no other connections. That would put any relationship to the test. Even Brook Shields and Christophers Atkins in Blue Lagoon (1980 hit movie) had their moments.

So whats the definition of a Cellmate? to co-exist, no connections unless its is necessary .."can your please put the garbage out?" "whats for dinner?"

There has to be a place somewhere in between? somewhere to feel comfortable enough to tackle this lockdown and stay connected and supported.

I think one of the first things to acknowledge is your and your partners individual space.

Recognising needs of the other and your own needs, without feeling resentment or selfishness.

Your moments of alone time and connection time may not coincide with theirs. Laying your cards on the table and talking about how you envision you day to go, gains collaboration (you may find they have some better ideas) and acceptance (you now get where they are coming from). This can also give you an indication of what moods you are both in instead of that old faulty thinking process of "assuming" you know whats on THEIR inside.

Alone time, time out without making the other person feel offended or unloved.Attentive times, together times (could be a walk, cooking together, watching tv and conversing, a gardening, project), AND being present in these times gives a sense of security for when you drift into your own individual space.

Try flirting with the balance of masculine and feminine energies in the both of you to lighten the mood. Swap roles, chores, responsibilities and see things from the other side.

Dr John Gottman, Psychological researcher at the Gottman Institute said the FIRST thing to die in a marriage (or any relationship if you think about it) is ....... POLITENESS. Let’s start there and do some work on that.

Learning EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE will help you process and handle the difficult times, gaining focus and response-ability for your feelings and behaviours and recognising whats going on for others without taking responsibility for them.

So what do you do to balance the Yin and Yang in your household? Sharing your ways may be the thing that really helps someone else in Lockdown Life.